Warm, isn’t it? I love this weather, despite the Climate Change alarm bells chiming loud and clear. But we’ve been having these ‘Indian Summers’ for – what? – three years now. And yet, BBC24 News is dominated by the ‘story’. Why? It’s not news. The Pope is Catholic, bears shit in the woods and September in the UK is warmer than July and August.
So let’s concentrate on the real matters at hand, eh... the Islamist Cleric killed in Yemen, the EU legal threat over UK benefits, or the Greece bailout deal. But this blog isn’t really about that; I trust you all to remain updated from your respective propaganda channels. I want to move briefly to the little story about Welsh plastic bags. No, they’re not world class singers just because they come from the valleys – this also applies to miners, school teachers and Post Office workers – but they now cost 5p each, every time you shop.
So let’s concentrate on the real matters at hand, eh... the Islamist Cleric killed in Yemen, the EU legal threat over UK benefits, or the Greece bailout deal. But this blog isn’t really about that; I trust you all to remain updated from your respective propaganda channels. I want to move briefly to the little story about Welsh plastic bags. No, they’re not world class singers just because they come from the valleys – this also applies to miners, school teachers and Post Office workers – but they now cost 5p each, every time you shop.
In my opinion, this is a brilliant idea. It’s good for the planet in terms of reducing both unsustainable production methods and also non-biodegradable littering from the many shameless and lazy bastards that appear to inhabit England. And it saves me from having to politely decline the offer of a plastic bag every time I buy as little as a chocolate bar or bottle of juice. This is the Welsh Government’s way of ensuring chains like Coop are being even more environmentally friendly and ecologically responsible. For Coop, this initiative follows their “Bags for Life” and Fairtrade cotton offerings; they’re not merely trying to make an easy 5p or even recoup costs incurred by paying their plastic bag supplier.
But some folk simply don’t get it as far as I could tell from watching TV yesterday morning; BBC News 24 repeats stories throughout the day at a rate of approximately three times per hour and unfortunately there was one of our National Heroes on there yesterday getting all confused and making an idiot of himself. Now I’m no doubt indebted to this guy for his brave services in Afghanistan or Iraq, but if I may paraphrase him: “The shop makes plenty of money so I don’t see why they cannot stand the cost of the bags. Why should I pay for the bags?” It’s like plaiting piss, it really is. I know you all understand this latest initiative is to make us all think twice before idly accepting a plastic bag. And I trust you all agree with the concept. Right?
The best things in life are free. Love, manners and apples from next door’s garden. I’ll let you into a little secret; I’m a member of a very exclusive club. I’m not sure when I signed up or who I spoke to in order to make the arrangements, but I’m definitely a member. Or at least I reckon I must be. The Manners Club – restricted access. Because manners are free, but too many folk don’t have them. It’s like Gold Card Membership and if your name’s not down then... “not tonight ladies”. So, if I can figure out how, then I will organise membership for the following people:
One. The lady who works at the BP “Corner Garage” who struggles to utter as little as ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’. I don’t want to be serenaded or fanned with a palm leaf as I browse the windscreen washer fluid and Ginster’s pasties, but the basics should really be a given... especially if I’m making an effort to be cheery. Poison Dwarf.
Zwei. The bloke in Sainsbury’s who – as I was unpacking my basket – simply started using ‘my’ self-service checkout. I never thought my being hung over would save an ignorant tosspot’s life, but it certainly did.
Trois. People who block Tube platforms. Picture the scene... Kentish Town station, southbound Northern Line platform and a group of European tourists stood RIGHT NEXT TO the platform entrance with the baggage from a Transatlantic Boeing 747. Completely in the way. One might interpret this as a lack of [self] awareness or practise, even, but for me it’s tantamount to simply lacking manners. If I find myself reluctantly schlepping a suitcase around the Tube (or on other public transport), then my first priority – yes, first – is ensuring that I don’t hit anyone in the legs or block platforms and corridors. So for me, people failing to do this are simply lacking in manners. It should be the normal human condition to look out for each other, but alas...
Before I sign off, I want to go back to self-service checkouts. I used one that time because I stank of booze, but I urge you not to use them as they are evil. I checked my account again this morning and still no payments from Sainsbury’s, Marks & Spencer or Waitrose; just receipts. Seeing as they don’t pay me a wage then I refuse to do their work. If you do use self-service checkouts, then just be aware that you’re both being exploited AND keeping someone out of a job and on the benefits system which you probably contribute towards.
There’s an unexpected item in the bagging area, so I’ve got to go!
