"Oh look, it's a fountain with horses..."

I'm currently spending at least a couple of weeks in thatLondon.  I had a job interview in Godalming (Surrey), on Wednesday - I was due down here to see Fran so simply extended the trip by a few days.  So now I'm waiting for the outcome of said interview... not too confidently to be honest, but we'll just have to see what happens.  Week days see me scouring the less-frequented areas of the capital in search of street art, quirky cafés and cheap snacks.  Mainly on foot.

This is all good as it saves wearing a hole in my Oyster card and I see things that otherwise would be missed while sitting on the Oxo.  I really like London and I could easily live here without a problem, but I am well aware it has its fair share of detractors... for usually the same, uninspired reasons: "it's too busy", "everyone is unfriendly", "it's expensive"...

Well to be truthful, it depends where you end up while you're down here.  I took a swift walk from Camden to Waterloo on Friday early evening and I thoroughly enjoyed the exercise in the bracing February air.  However, for the first time, I let negative feelings about the capital creep into my thoughts.  At the time I was pissed off, but looking back and sitting here now I do realise it has helped me to understand the 'problem(s)' that some people have with London.  So my route was thus: Park Way - all fine, Regents Park - all fine, Great Portland Street - all fine, Regent Street - all fine, Whitehall - all fine, Westminster Bridge Road - all fine.  Anyone who knows London will realise there seems to be a gap in the street running order - how did I get from Regent Street to Whitehall?  Well, um, I took the direct-ish route and walked via Oxford Circus, Soho, and the squares: Leicester and Trafalgar.

What a fucking error that was.  Especially considering the time of day.  Let's see what we had:

2. Trendy teenagers walking 3-abreast as they looked for Carnaby Street and 'checked in' on their iphones;
3. [To save causing offence, let's just stick with] European school kids loitering en-masse at subway and tube station entrances;
4. Soho was busy, but it does have a certain charm and at least the people there are shopping and/or working; and
5. Blokes with flyers trying to get me into the Aberdeen Steakhouse - "fucking leave me alone.  Do I look like I've had my tastebuds laser-removed?".

However, the main problem I encountered really deserves more than a simple bullet point in a list.  Problem #1 is predominantly attributable to Wicked, Grease The Musical, Les Miserables, Hair Spray, Dirty Dancing et al.  Each to their own; if someone wants to pass a few hours watching an Olivia Newton John wannabe or pretending witches and wizards exist while eating their own bodyweight in Minstrels, then that is absolutely fine.  BUT when I hear over and over again "oh we went to see that show in London... it was great... and all the bright lights... it's really busy though, people everywhere; I couldn't live there", I cannot help think that whoever utters those words is completely missing the point.

Please don't travel to London to see a show, stand in the middle of Shaftesbury Avenue looking at an upside-down map and/or dawdle 5-abreast while gazing up in apparent amazement at The Trocadero or The Palladium AND THEN complain about the crowds.  Because... and here's the breaking news...; you might actually be the crowd - along with me and the few million other people walking through the Borough of Tourism.  I know; crazy, right!?

In other news, I'm looking for a 56cm Colnago C50 Pista frame and forks... if you have one in the loft, then please let me know.

Thanks for reading.

Fly me to the moon. I'll sort the oxygen and gravity problems and if I don't, then I'll blame you for flying me there in the first place!

There is political unrest and a revolution under way in Egypt, yet the good old British package holiday tourist is managing to save face amidst the chaos.  Budget airline Jet2 has suspended flights to and from Sharm el Sheikh and Hurghada with effect from 1st March, with the statement:

"Whilst the Red Sea resorts are not currently affected, the safety and comfort of our customers is our number one priority, and as such we do not want them to face the stressful uncertainty of whether their holiday will go ahead as planned.  Customers will automatically receive a full refund for the cost of their flights or holiday, plus a discount off a new booking."

Although I think they have taken away customer uncertainty over holidays in a rather perverse manner - by explaining "No, you're definitely not flying to Egypt in March.  Not with us anyway." - I do agree with Jet2's concern over the welfare of its customers.  I can imagine the first thing to happen should one of their customers come to grief as a result of the protests... "You flew me out here, said it was safe enough.  And now look what happened.  What're you gonna do about it?" Prudent work from Jet2, if you ask me.

So WHAT THE FUCK are retired businessman Peter O'Reilly, and his partner Jacquie Chorley harping on about?  Here we have two people who are more concerned with/interested in the fulfilment of their month in the sun rather than the very tangible elements of political revolution that are taking place literally down the road.  Mrs Chorley is quoted: "When I came out from Leeds-Bradford Airport last Friday there were lots of empty seats.  I suspect it is the empty seats they are worried about rather than my welfare."  To be honest I fail to see the logic in that argument... if Jet2 have flown people out, then they need to fly them back regardless of booking levels.

She is also quoted: "This is my third time staying at this hotel and the staff here are wonderful and can't do enough for you. I feel completely safe here."  Oh that's okay then... if you return to your room every day to find the towels have been folded into a scene from 'Watership Down' and Azizi displays a kind, warm smile as he pours your sparkling wine, then what does it matter that Hosni Mubarak might be ready to stand down after a 30-year rule?  I'm with you on that one, Mrs Chorley, some people need to get things in perspective, right?

And this story is just a very tiny example of what is wrong with today's world - too many people setting out with only themselves in mind, in their own little worlds, no idea what's happening in their own state/province/county never mind at the other side of the world.  Seemingly perpetually obsessed with having the latest iphone application, orange skin, cheap petrol, a 4x4... I could go on.

Just to end on a slightly lighter note: something which came to mind on the train last Wednesday as we waited for passengers to alight in Doncaster (poor bastards).  Two things I REALLY don't understand in this world: 1. People's fascination with gadgets; and 2. How exactly does train spotting work?  Where's the challenge?

That is all from me for now - I have a fixed gear project to research.

Thanks for reading and Godspeed!

Science can be fun!

I nearly took a trip to Spillsville this morning.  35miles into a 40mile ride with 800m of climbing - any self respecting roadie will look to cheat the elements in this situation.  So I'm tramming through Havercroft, slightly downhill at ~25mph... Transit van up ahead which has slowed down for a traffic calming chicane so I managed to jump into the slipstream and draft for a while.  Now my experience of Transit van drivers is they don't slow down or stop for anyone.  Right?  Well I came across the jumpiest, most courteous Transit van driver this side of Watford.

Anyway at 30mph, he hits the anchors and stoops in between two parked cars to let opposing traffic through.  Yours truly also hits the anchors and manages to slow down.  However, the back tyre loses traction and consequently the wheel which it shrouds steps out to the side.  I'm skidding and fearing the worst, but luckily I kept everything in the correct orientation.

This had me thinking about vehicle stopping distances...

The Highway Code stopping distances are derived from a combination of driver thinking-perception time and the subsequent vehicle braking and stopping distance.  Braking systems on ‘modern’ cars allow them to decelerate at approximately 1.0g; indeed the Highway Code stopping distances are based on 6.57m/s/s or 0.67g.

Driver thinking-perception time will vary from subject to subject, but a conservative average value is taken for the purpose of the calculations.  The Highway Code stopping distances are based on a thinking-perception time of 0.7s.

Assuming a vehicle’s braking system is operating properly, the minimum stopping distance for the vehicle will be determined by the coefficient of friction between the tyres and carriageway surface.  According to the work-energy principle, the friction force must do enough work to reduce the vehicle’s kinetic energy to zero.

Braking and stopping distance

 µ = coefficient of friction

d = distance (m)

v = initial velocity (m/s)

m = vehicle mass (kg)

g = acceleration due to gravity (m/s2)

t = thinking-perception time (s)

Workfriction = -Fd = -mad = - mµgd = -½mvv so braking distance db = v2/2µg

Thinking distance dt = vt

Total stopping distance, d = vt + v2/2µg

If we consider a car travelling along the M62 at 70mph in clear and dry conditions; using these first principles, we can see how the Highway Code braking and stopping distances are derived.

v = 33.3m/s (70mph)

t = 0.7s

µ = 0.67

g = 9.81m/s2

Braking and stopping distance, d = 107m

Thanks for reading and not falling asleep!

We are not amused...

You'll notice I haven't updated my blog for over a month now.  I didn't forget about it or think 'fuck it', I just haven't had the urge to write.  You also may have noticed my best writing comes when I'm angry or need to get something off my chest.  No?  Oh... maybe my calm writing is okay as well then!?

So I'm here because I'm angry or because I need to get something off my chest?  Not really; I feel like I'm in a good place right now, happy with my current lot.  However; I found myself watching significant chunks of the Royal Variety Performance 2010 the other night.  Was it Thursday?  I enjoyed some of it, hated most of it and was astounded, frankly, at the average-ness of one or two performances.  I was commenting to a good friend and we were debating the [de-] merits of each act... I thought I may as well try and get my blog back on track by documenting the observations.

Lee Mack

I'm a fan.  I like his slightly manic style and he comes across as a genuinely nice bloke when he's interviewed.  He seems comfortable mixing observational comedy, one-liners and stories, but he didn't have his best night on Thursday.  I'd suggest that's probably down to the short time he had on stage and the way comedians' material has to be toned down for the Royal members of the audience.  Which is rather ironic, when you consider how they carry on in their spare time; inbreeding, sleeping with polo teammates' spouses, killing defenceless animals, dressing as Nazis and not worrying about casual racism.  I'm still with you, Lee.  Keep up the good work. 

Susan Boyle

The nation's favourite slightly mentally ill person.  No seriously, I don't mind her she seems harmless enough and her talent cannot be denied really.  But her kind of music bores me; there's no feeling involved.  Okay she might feel the music, but what about the lyrics?  What do the lyrics mean to 'SuBo'?  Well in the case of Thursday night's song choice, I'd guess they don't mean a hell of a lot.  Many respected commentators suggest that Lou Reed's "Perfect Day" (produced by Bowie if you're interested) documents his romanticised attitude towards a period of his own addiction to heroin.  Most of us cannot comment on such a topic, so Subo definitely cannot... a small sherry at Christmas and maybe half a bottle of Blue Nun if there's a wedding.  Choose life, Subo.

Cheryl Cole

I really cannot warm to this girl.  I think she's self-centered, manipulative and pretty bloody ruthless if it comes down to it.  And if we believe the newspapers; she's a fucking racist to boot.  Don't let the pretty face  - and it is pretty to be fair - distract you.  But let's be fair to Mrs Cole for a moment (is she still Mrs Cole or are we back to Miss Tweedy?  Which sells most records?)... she's made a glittering career for herself so far.  "Girls Aloud" were one of Britain's most successful pop bands and now she seems to be doing pretty well as a solo 'artist'.  Both those facts amaze me, but to each their own and people buy and listen to whatever pleases them.

She died on her arse on Thursday night though.  If the performance was good or great then I would have no problem commenting so.  But oh my; it was fucking terrible, embarrassing.  Flat, out of tune, nerve-wracked and the songwriting wasn't exactly inspiring either.  Epic fail, love.

Les Miserables

This kind of thing isn't really my cup of tea, but the talent on display was undeniable.  Compelling.  The actual show was on the same day as the student riots in London and you may have seen the news reports of Charles and Camilla's limousine being targeted.  So first we have the Royals being attacked by wannabe student revolutionists and an hour or so later, they're both lauding a performance documenting the June Rebellion (an anti-monarchist uprising of Parisian students).  I'm not suggesting things should have been different, I just found it interesting and rather amusing.

The Chelsea Pensioners

Knees up muvver braaarn.  No thanks.

Take That

I had to turn over to BBC2.  Gary Barlow is enormously talented: he plays the piano beautifully, has a strong and wide vocal range and he can write bloody good music and lyrics.  Just WHAT do the others do?  Besides dance about like dickheads, harmonise and bask in the limelight?

And now Robbie Williams has decided he wants to be back in on everything.  Does this have anything to do with his solo 'career' slowly drying up?  And already, he's taking centre stage as though he's the fucking messiah - Take That's and pop music's saviour.  Robbie Williams and his Take That Band.  Fuck off, Robbie and take your insecurity with you... go and play with your mate Johnny Wilkes and massage each other's over-inflated egos.

So there you have it; my unbiased review of the Royal Variety Performance 2010.  Or the acts I saw.  Not overly impressed as I'm sure you would have known before even sitting down to read this blog update.  I just cannot relate to entertainment for the masses; it doesn't light my synapses, pose questions or make me think about deeper meanings.  It's just there.  I have to qualify that the Les Miserables performance stood out in that respect.  Like I have already written; it's not my cup of tea, but at least you learn something from watching.

Thanks for reading and let's have your thoughts on the Royal Variety Performance 2010...

Preparedness makes us powerful, butter merely makes us fat...

Winter's here then.  It's cold, crisp and now we have snow.  Snow's a bit like Marmite as far as I can tell - don't put it on your toast, that would be terrible - you either love it or hate it.  And I think there's a very fine line between that love and hate depending on your aspirations.  We had a thick covering last year (February time if I recall correctly) and I didn't mind it at all; with the lack of road grit and the steep hill 500yds from my house, driving to work wasn't really an option and so I could legitimately 'work from home'.  I loved it.

This morning, I hate it.  Snow and road cycling don't really mix all that well; think chalk and cheese or Ike and Tina and you'll see where I'm coming from.  I have all the warm weather gear to keep me comfortable down to -5C, but when the roads are covered in compacted snow and slowly thawing/freezing patches of water things become decidedly hazardous.  I've had the back wheel step out when turning into junctions, but managed to keep things upright.  With ice on the roads, there's a high chance of the front wheel doing the same and if that happens... well I'm going down and no amount of bike handling skill is changing the outcome.  Spillsville.  Population: me.

treacherous -adjective: characterized by faithlessness or readiness to betray trust; traitorous.

What I've just covered briefly there is a road condition which one might describe as 'hazardous' or 'dangerous' and that would be fair enough.  From that, I would argue 'treacherous' is not a suitable adjective for the current weather conditions.  But if the BBC insists on attributing human qualities to natural phenomena, who I am I to pass comment?

I was sidetracked for a minute there.

Back to winter cycling...  so as long as the roads aren't icy, then  I will ride.  Last winter I had to spend ~£100 repairing my Giant Cadex.  Despite my fastidious winter maintenance regime, I couldn't stop all the salt from killing my front and rear Campagnolo derailleurs.

Giant Cadex 980c

I built the Cadex specifically for winter use and fitted it with mudguards for dirty road conditions that ruin clothes, make the drivetrain filthy and eventually kill derailleurs if there's enough salt present.  Rear derailleurs cost ~£40 and front derailleurs cost ~£20 so after I'd replaced one of each I had to come up with a more cost effective option for this winter!

  


A lot of my winter cycling is on the flat, just maintaining endurance and strength for when spring comes back around.  I could get away without needing derailleurs.  Now I couldn't simply take them off the Cadex, because the teeth profiles on the chainring actually cause the chain to derail; the front derailleur also keeps the chain where it should be.  I didn't want to change over the front chainring to a single speed one either - the Cadex is a bloody good road bike which I want to use in inclement weather throughout the warmer months. 

So I went to see Gary Proud at Kendell Cycles to discuss single speed bike options and what he could get his hands on.  I had looked at the Bianchi and Specialized offerings already.  The Bianchi is expensive and the Specialized - as well as being what everyone seems to ride - is not geared tall enough... so what else?  Gary recommended the Giant Bowery '72.  An aluminium relaxed geometry frame with track dropouts and bars, which is geared quite high with a 48/17 combination giving ~75 gear inches.  Ideal!  So I went for it, placed the order and collected about a month later.

I kept the rat-trap pedals and have used it throughout summer for going to the shops.  The frame is nice and stiff, the gearing is just about right and the riding position is comfortable.  And it looks the business, which to be honest is very important for this part-time hipster running two-wheeled errands.

Tug nuts!

I finished preparing it for proper winter use yesterday by fitting new clipless pedals, a rear mudguard and making additions to the saddle bag contents.  On top of the usual tyre levers, spare tube, multitool and chain breaker there are now two wheel spanners (the axles aren't quick release) and a smaller spanner for releasing the rear wheel tug nuts.  Stop laughing at the back!  Tug nuts fasten over the rear axle and keep the wheel set in the correct position to achieve suitable chain tension.

So I took the bike for the maiden voyage on Thursday.  It's exactly as I expected - it's nice to just pedal and not worry about gear ratios.  If the road starts to point towards the sky or the wind's in your face, then you simply MTFU, pedal harder and make the quads burn!  And that's what I want from winter cycling; to build leg strength and endurance.  I'm looking forward to it.

Giant Bowery '72

Thanks for reading - I hope it wasn't too cycling heavy!

You're not putting that in the garden...

So… here we are: the end of an era.  Tomorrow is my last day working for Atkins Consultants Limited.  Monday 2^nd July 2001 – Friday 19^th November 2010: eight months shy of a gold effect carriage clock for my non-existent mantelpiece.  I’ve had some good times working at Atkins and I’ll be forever grateful of the fantastic opportunities afforded to me over the past nine years or so.

Now I can look forward to lots of free time in which to cycle plenty of miles and walk many paths.  It will also be nice to leave behind The Worst Commute Ever: Tuesday was my last day of being on the bypass stuck behind Reg and Doris in their 15yr old Proton or Baz in his dangerously overladen P reg Mondeo with illegal tyres.  How on Earth could I have found the Monday morning drive-fly-taxi to Dublin LESS hassle than the drive to Barnsley?  By factoring in Reg, Doris, Baz and the Tickle Your Tastebuds van; that’s how.  But let us not dwell on the past or be concerned about the future; we only ever occupy the present.

Birmingham Airport is auctioning a Maglev carriage on ebay.  The carriage is an example of one of the world's first magnetic levitation transport systems.  Although the Birmingham Airport one was replaced by a cable operated system, there are still plenty of examples of Maglev transit systems around the world.  The theory behind it is relatively straight forward; I won’t go into detail (you can Wiki if you’re interested), but the technology basically exploits magnetic repulsion and attraction.

I couldn’t resist a sly laugh at the expense of ‘Airport spokesman John Morris’ who was quoted: “Although it will never move under its own power again, it could make an excellent summer house or greenhouse.”  I can just imagine John walking through the door one evening (or morning – he’s probably on a shift pattern) after work and proudly telling Mrs Morris that he’s “bought a summer house ready for next year; it’ll be great for barbecues”.  Her face would be a picture when reality dawned on seeing a Sixt Kenning flatback Transit van loaded with half a ton of mildewed fibreglass, perspex and steel.

Interesting concept, centripetal force…

Consider a body travelling in circular motion of radius, R, about a fixed origin with a linear velocity, V.  The body is constantly accelerating toward the origin with an acceleration, a.

a = Rw², where w is the angular velocity of the body.

Linear velocity, V = Rw.

Newton’s 2^nd Law tells us that Force = mass x acceleration

So the centripetal force, F = m x Rw²

(V = Rw, so w = V/R.  Also: Weight, W = mass x gravitational acceleration, so m=W/g)

So the centripetal force, F = WV²/gR

… circular motion and acceleration don't really have anything to do with magnetic levitation.  But it was on my mind.

Thanks for reading.

Three hours in the life of a roadie...

Saturday mornings generally mean only one thing (unless I'm not at home after a boozy Friday evening) and that's ride time.

It's 6am and I'm awoken by an unmistakable song intro and I gather my thoughts through the next few tracks.  By 7am, I've had two coffees; toast; Weetabix with Acacia honey and milk; and I'm kitted up.  Just need to prep the bike and then make a move.  I've given the bike a once over the previous evening - to save time - but I check the tyres; brakes; gear indexing; and fill the water bottles.

I roll out at ~7:30am and I'm the only person up and about in my street as far as I can tell.  The sun rises over my destination and birds provide the opening ceremony for a new day.  There's a chill in the air and a slight dew, but by the time I've covered 10 miles and am well into the open countryside, the sun is up and the dampness has burned off.

Some people will think roadies are mad getting out of bed at 6am on a Saturday morning after a week at work.  They're entitled to that opinion, but will sadly never appreciate the magic of rolling silently along country lanes at 25mph - separated from the world by only a few lbs of carbon fibre, aluminium and rubber - as nature awakes.

The first mile or so is a little stop start as I negotiate a couple of priority junctions and have to trackstand at an unforgivable red light - no traffic around and there are few things worse than a red light jumping cyclist - but then it's pretty much free rolling for the next 10 miles or so.  Beginning to warm up now and the early morning tightness is ebbing away.  I exchange 'hellos' with one or two oncoming fellow roadies, get ignored by the mountain biker (long story) and am careful not to startle another roadie as I overtake him just the other side of Womersley.  I don't know if he tried to stick to my wheel, but when I look back 5 minutes later I can just make him out in the distance.

As I head straight over the cross roads on the A19 and make my way towards Pollington, I'm overtaken by a tractor pulling a large trailer.  Opportunity.  I let the farmer pull a 20ft gap, before shifting up a gear and accelerating to within 10ft of the trailer and into the slipstream.  Thanks to the draft, I've hit ~35mph and need to come back off the pedals so as to remain at a constant distance from the trailer... time to sit up and have a drink and slight breather!  I could sit here until the farmer pulls off into the fields, but a typically ignorant driver with the preconception that "cyclist = slower than me" seems desperate to overtake me and then our friendly provider of potatoes.  I drop back and let the cockwomble do his thing and the tractor has gone - I would need to work hard to get back in the draft, but I still have miles to cover so leave it.  Oh well.

To either side, flat expanses of pastoral and arable land extend towards the horizon.  The southerly cross wind is as fierce as usual.  Soon though I pass a solitary house and a school on the right and then cross over the Aire and Calder Navigation into Pollington where I find temporary shelter from from the gusts.  Leaving Pollington to head north for half a mile over the M62 motorway, that southerly wind becomes my friend... grab the drops, get tucked and crank it up to 30mph without any draft assistance.  Awesome like a hot dog.

I turn to head back in the direction of home, making progress through Gowdall, Hensall, Kellington, Knottingley and finally Pontefract.  The wind funnells through the cooling towers at Eggborough power station and makes bike handling tricky for a few hundred metres so I ease off the pedals and concentrate on not taking a spill.  Cycling through Knottingley can be interesting thanks to the traffic lights at the sports centre and at Hill Top and this time it's no different... crawling along at 10mph bumper to skinny tyre to bumper and yet the bloke behind insists on driving alongside me.  So I let him come by and then assert a positive road position in front of the old dear in the Daewoo Matiz - she's happy to follow patiently as she struggles to ignite a Camel with a yellow "five for a quid" lighter.

We eventually pass through the traffic lights at Hill Top (well the chain smoking lady stalls it and misses the window of opportunity) and it's full speed ahead to Pontefract town centre and the Town End junction for which the Highways department of Wakefield Council have received nothing but complaints.  I can't think why.  Anyway... I cut through past the scrap metal yard and hospital before flying up Mayor's Walk to cut the corner and Town End junction out of the route.  Another half mile in shopping traffic and then I'm home.

35 miles@ave18mph and I'm set for the day before a lot of people have crawled out of bed!

I'm pleased with my current stable of bikes, but the accepted mathematical proof for the number of bikes a roadie requires is:

Number of bikes required = n+1 (where n is the number of bikes currently owned)

So I'm always on the look out for the next bike.  Among all the 'obvious' choices, the Colnago Master 55 and Pinarello Prince of Spain have really caught my attention!  Time to start saving.

Thanks for reading.